SUSAN’S FAVORITE ALZHEIMER LEXICON TERMS
AA: After Alzheimer’s; BA: Before Alzheimer’s.
Aging: normal aging is when you forget where your glasses are. Not normal aging is when you forget you wear glasses.
Absentee: a friend or relative who doesn’t know what to say or do, so stays away or hides out in the most convenient spot available, when they spot you.
Bad Karma: what the “enlightened” will tell you is the reason why someone gets Alzheimer’s and why caregiving is your intended purpose/fate in life.
Boundaries: the parameters that caregivers set concerning what they can and cannot do. An essential tool if the caregiver does not want to experience burnout or illness.
Breakthrough: also known as an “epiphany” – when someone finally sees the situation as it is, not as they wish it would be.
Buffer Zone: a necessary distance between the person cared for and the caregiver.
Caregiver Dementia: a condition that presents itself as dementia, but is temporary brought on by overload.
Caregiver Meltdown: when the caregiver is overwhelmed and loses it. Much like a two year old’s temper tantrum.
Caregiver Sanity Check: someone tells you how well your loved one is doing, and you think you are going crazy because this just is not true. Time for a sanity check.
Compassion Fatigue: the inability over the long run to sustain the commitment that is required.
Confabulation: stories told with little accuracy or truth to them.
Cueing: little hints and reminders given to help remember.
Defining Moment: a situation occurs that can no longer be denied.
Distancing: placing a little psychological space between yourself and your loved one in order to protect yourself and ration your caregiving so you don’t burnout.
Drive-by-Visits: friends, family stop by for a visit that is over before it begins.
Fantasy: when thoughts turn to make believe scenarios that soothe.
Flicker of the Light Bulb: those brief moments when the person returns to former self.
Gas Lighted: something occurs, not on purpose, that makes you question your sanity
Gifts of Love: little “white lies” that all caregivers tell.
Good Intentions: what others purport they had, when nothing is done.
Great Expectations: a set of unrealistic, wishful expectations that caregivers often hold about their role, how things should progress, and what other should do.
Guilt: most emotion felt for less than charitable thoughts or irritation or wishing it would be over, despite the fact that these thoughts are all part of the caregiving process.
Happy Pills: antidepressant meds prescribed to help caregivers cope.
Join Them On Their Journey: instead of insisting on reality or the truth, join them on their journey and be where they are. The truth and reality will only be forgotten as soon as it is delivered.
Lost & Found: a common condition where an item can be missing for hours/days/weeks/months, only suddenly to appear.
Magical Thinking: thoughts such as, “We can beat this “or” this is not really happening.”
Married Widow/Widower: unofficial matrimonial status of spousal caregivers.
Martyr: what a caregiver can quickly become if not careful.
No Man’s Land: a place where those dealing with dementia reside.
Normal: real normal, what is happening out in the world: caregiver normal, the adjustment one has made to the situation, rendering it the new normal.
Out of Sync: how the caregiver feels in comparison to the rest of the world.
Poltergeist: often the one blamed for missing items because everyone know you can’t argue or blame a person suffering from dementia.
Relief: often felt once the person passes on despite sadness.
Respite: a temporary antidote to caregiving.
Reentry: what happens when a caregiver returns from a respite?
Sainthood: what the public like to turn caregivers into.
Second Childhood: what people with dementia get to experience?
Second Time Around: not referring to marriage BUT to being a parent again.
Shadowing: a 24-7 companion you are never without. You’re new BFF.
Special: definition of caregivers.
Sun downing: a period in late afternoon where confusion increases. An upset in biological clock resulting in mixing up day and evening.
Survivor: what all caregivers are at the end of the journey AND not to be confused with the TV program which is amateurish in comparison?
Survivor Tools: black humor and fantasy.
Underrated: the job caregivers and families do over the year.
“We Really Must Get Together, I’ll Call You”: an exit line used by the faint of heart.
Window of Opportunity: amount of quality time still left.
You’ve Come Back To Me Moments: those moments when your loved one is just like before and you think nothing is wrong.