SUNDAYS WITH SUSAN - all about caring for someone with Alzheimer's/Dementia.

HAVE YOU LOST YOURSELF & YOUR LIFE?

I am feeling much better than I did last week when I felt like I was so caught up in things, I had no time for me. Just the small act of blogging last week – something I really wanted to do but never quite got around to doing – has made me feel more in control of my life. I remember the same parallel situation from my caregiving days when everyone else’s needs were paramount and I couldn’t seem to find anytime for myself. We all know that living like that causes burnout, illnesses, fatigue, depression, and the list does not end there. Yet, we keep going on in the same direction, truly believing we don’t have the time to take care of ourselves. One of the greatest lessons I learned as a caregiver was, no one is going to save me but me. At first, the realization was difficult to absorb but eventually it became liberating. That doesn’t mean I don’t have people that love and care about me, because I do, but only I can save myself. With that realization in hand, I started the slow process of taking back some of my life. One of the first things I did was establish my “you cave” that I talked about in my prior blog.

I learned to be assertive in asking for what I needed, but first I had to become very clear about what I needed. After much resistance, I joined a support group where people were in the same situation as I, and I felt both understood and validated. I worked to figure out what tasks I could turn over to others, both professional and personal, by asking myself the question “what am I taking on, that I don’t want to or can’t do?”I also checked the negative self talk rolling around in my head and worked on replacing it with something more positive thoughts. I started journaling as a place to deposit my thoughts I could not or did not want to share with others, and this brought a great sense of relief to me. All of this did not happen overnight, just like getting back to blogging, it took time, determination and commitment. Commit today or very soon to start to get back a life for you.